Argle Links Logs MUME Players Profiles
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   Updated: Sept. 2001

Before you go out on that Adventure check what's in the stars according to Trent Truthsayer. Find your sign or that of each of your characters.

Súrë (wind)
(January 20-February 18)
Shire Calendar
29 Afteryule
28 Solmath
Stewards' Reckoning
29 Narvinyë
28 Nénimë

Sometimes, in this crazy and confusing world, we can lose our head, both literally and figuratively. It is of the figurative sense that the stars speak today. (The stars can't help you if you really do, actually lose your head.) The coming days will be a trying time for you. You will find yourself in positions where you are ill-equipped to survive. Your first instinct in these situations is going to be to turn around and run like the wind. Try to resist. You must maintain control of your situation. Istima is in reverse alignment with every other astrological house. This means that wisdom just flew out the window. So if you lose control of any situation in the coming days and attempt to flee to safety, it is very likely that you will do one of the following instead:
1. Run like a ninny right into the trunk of a tree, thus, dying.
2. Run like a ninny right into a closed door, thus, dying.
3. Run like a ninny right off a cliff, thus, dying.
4. Run like a ninny out of the room, encounter an angry bee and flee back the direction from which you just came, thus, dying.
So, the stars recommend against putting yourself in any situation where running away is a part of the plan.
Also, it appears that Istima is going to be in reverse alignment for a veeeeerrrrryyyyyyy long time. Sorry.

Lingwë (fish)
(February 19-March 20)
Shire Calendar
29 Solmath
28 Rethe
Stewards' Reckoning
29 Nénimë
28 Súlimë

Fish have a memory span of about 30 seconds. Since you are ruled by the sign of the fish, you probably are not the sharpest blade in the armoury. That's all right though. Not everyone can be a thinker. Sometimes it helps to think less and kill more. Concentrate on your skills as a warrior.
You need to think: "Must get big heavy sharp pointy metal thingie into bad man!"
If you were thinking about taking up the mystical arts instead, the stars are aligned against that path. Turning an enemy into a flaming ball of goo is one thing. Accidentally turning yourself into said ball of goo is quite another.

Istima (wise)
(March 21-April 19)
Shire Calendar
29 Rethe
28 Astron
Stewards' Reckoning
29 Súlimë
27 Víressë

Do you feel unappreciated? Do you feel that the renown you deserve keeps slipping from your grasp? Does it seem like, no matter how many enemies you kill, you are always 2 steps behind the truly great warriors?
Get over it!
The universe if a damn cruel place, ruled by deities whose thought processes defy the logic of mere mortals. Who are YOU to assume that you understand the grand plan of it all? Who are you to assume that your opinion even matters?
You should just be thankful that your head is still firmly (if temporarily) attached to your shoulders. Quit your bitchin' and go kill something.

Mundo (ox)
(April 20-May 20)
Shire Calendar
29 Astron
30 Thrimidge
Stewards' Reckoning
28 Víressë
29 Lótessë

Now is the time to leave behind all you know, all you are comfortable with, and travel to distant lands. Now is the time to take the road untravelled. Now is the time to put yourself to the ultimate test.
You will meet hardships upon this path. You will feel beaten and weary. You will wonder where this journey will take you and how it will end.
There will be no treasure at the end of the road. There will be no paradise waiting for you. There will be no secret revealed that will make your journey complete.

On this journey, you will find your destiny. How you choose to meet your fate is something even the stars can not determine.
(Translation: go play in the newly built areas! don't be a wussy boy! you can survive east of bree, believe it or not.)

Onóna (twin)
(May 21-June 20)
Shire Calendar
30 Thrimidge
30 Forelithe
Stewards' Reckoning
29 Lótessë
29 Nárië

In the past, you were one of those people who just kept saying the same thing, over and over and over and over and over ..... Perhaps you have noticed that has become difficult for you to complete a coherent sentence. Maybe you have developed a small stutter or even laryngitis.
The cosmos got tired of waiting around for you to get a clue and silenced your irritating prattle. Just thought I'd let you know. The gods are watching.

Nanvanta (backwards walk)
(June 21-July 22)
Shire Calendar
1 Lithe
2 Wedmath
Stewards' Reckoning
30 Nárië
3 Urimë

Fate is a remarkably fickle bitch. You were warned to follow your nature when last we spoke but as it turns out, nothing will save you from the testing time in your future. Ordinarily I would never tempt fate by revealing the details of anyone's future, but for you, I'll make an exception.
First thing to go will be your gold. You should have gotten a moneybag.
Next will be all your possessions. Bet you will feel like a dolt for not wearing that Arda ring.
Then, finding yourself naked and far from home, you will be slowly picked to the point of near death by every little creeping, crawling creature in Arda.
You will curse the day you were born. You will scream angry cries at the heavens, damning the gods who rule all. You will scream at the top of your punctured and perforated lungs until your throat refuses utter one more sound. Your horrible day will end in a vast, empty place, devoid of sound, sight or smell. You will remain in this horrible emptiness until you sincerely repent your wrong doings and beg the gods you previously cursed to forgive you.
None of this, of course, is your fault. Fate is a remarkably fickle bitch. Deal with it.

(July 23-August 22)
Shire Calendar
3 Wedmath
2 Halimath
Stewards' Reckoning
4 Urimë
3 Yavannië

Do you have ANY idea how hard they can hit? You think that tiny piece of metal you call a shield is going to help you? Trolls EAT SHIELDS. Don't be a putz. RUN! Run like you ass is on fire and the nearest water is miles away.

Curuni (witch of the good magic)
(August 23-September 22)

Shire Calendar
3 Halimath
2 Winterfilth
Stewards' Reckoning
4 Yavannië
2 Narquelië

Once again, a strange combination of signs spells possible trouble in the coming days.
Nanvanta is in your house which means a change is coming. But Onóna is in reverse alignment with Nanvanta. Strange right?

Well, for those of you who are a little out of it I'll explain.
The Twins are in reverse conjunction with the Crab. Now this either means you are going to go fishing with someone who looks a lot like you or you are going to get a sexually transmitted disease from those twins you banged last week.
See, didn't I tell you it was strange.
Don't blame me. I'm just the messenger. *shrug*

Heren (order)
(September 23-October 22)
Shire Calendar
3 Winterfilth
2 Blotmath
Stewards' Reckoning
3 Narquelië
2 Hísimë

Granted, an active imagination can be a true asset in life.
However, there is no way that horse gave you a "Come here big boy and show me what a stallion really is" look. Perhaps taking a bath every once in a while would increase your chances of procreating with a member of your own species?

Ohta (war)
(October 23-November 21)
Shire Calendar
3 Blotmath
1 Foreyule
Stewards' Reckoning
3 Hísimë
1 Ringarë

Oooooo. That's bad. Oooooo, no, that's not good at all . . .
Well, hmmmm, how to put this . . .
The stars foretell a very messy hunt. There will be you and a traveling companion versus maybe 10 or so of your enemies. You really don't stand a chance here. It would take a miracle to survive those odds.
Also, it seems that those hunting you will keep using the word, "LAB."
That doesn't mean anything to me but perhaps it has some hidden meaning for you?

Pilin (arrow)
(November 22-December 21)
Shire Calendar
2 Foreyule
1 Yule
Stewards' Reckoning
2 Ringarë
(2 days before 1 Narvinyë)

Perhaps you have felt a bit sluggish lately? If so, it is not surprising. Your strengths and weaknesses are influenced by powers outside of your control. The cosmos has entered a "shifting-phase." I will explain.
Before the "shift" occurred, the energies that flowed though every living thing were vibrant and full of power. The cosmos poured into you until such a time as Fate deemed you too old to receive the full measure of power you were accustomed to. After you reached the age Fate chose for you, your physical powers declined.
But now, in the "shifting-phase," you feel less lively, less powerful, more sluggish. The cosmos no longer seems to fill you with the same power it once did. I can not explain the full measure of this change to you but I can give you this advice:
This is a long-term phase. All you can do is adapt.
If it gives you any comfort, every other great house of the stars is enduring this phase as well. So at least we are all on the same, level playing field.

Nyéni (goat)
(December 22-January 19)
Shire Calendar
2 Yule
28 Afteryule
Stewards' Reckoning
(1 day before Narvinyë)
28 Narvinyë
Nyéni is the only house that is currently in a positive romantic position. This news takes the shape of a double-edged sword. One the one hand, you will feel the true power of your sexuality in the coming days. On the other hand, no one else will be even slightly interested in romance. This is tragic for you because your godlike performance in the sack will only occur during this phase of the stars.
Since you will be rejected at every turn, no matter how appealing your charms may be, I recommend taking matters into your own hand, literally.

This column is updated Monthly. Send your mail to  Trent Truthsayer.

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